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Human NatureWe're born
A door opens wide
A door closes shut
We don't make the cut
We let go
We take care
All in all
We're children of the earth
We rise and we fall
Beginning at birth
The Hardest PartI look out of my window,
I see the cars passing by,
Each one trying to reach the speed of sound,
And I see the people with their busy lives
No-one seems to have the patience,
For "hello" or "good-bye",
And I remember something my grandpa said,
At least a million times:
"Slow down...wait your turn...
Watch the world as it moves,
And then, my boy, you will learn..."
And I learned that:
The hardest part of living,
Is growing up, and forgiving,
Learning to deal with the strain...
And the hardest part of life,
Is accepting the pain,
We want to deny
The hardest part of life...
Is the living...
Well, my grandpa died,
Just a mont
Hey, can you hear me?"Hey!"
Staring straight ahead, right at a blank wall.
"Are you listening?"
"I said hi!"
Looking at the emptyness, yet seeing nothing at all.
"This is Earth to you!"
"Zoned out again?"
Last night, you almost lost you.
"Can you hear me?"
"I'm screaming in your ear!"
You've thought and sat there thinking, and you still don't know what to do.
"Are you going to respond?"
You fell so far, into your own mind.
But there were ones who would not leave you behind.
Confused, numb and empty, you turn the thoughts over in your head.
"I know you can hear me!"
"Please! Say something
My voice?I tried to smile,
laugh through the pain,
but it's been a while,
I think I'm insane.
I can't hear my own voice.
The one that says what I want.
Now I have no choice.
You never did, it taunts.
It tells me what I should say.
It tells me who I am.
It tells me everyday.
Am I the lion or the lamb?
Am I as weak as I feel,
or as strong as I pretend?
Am I cold and hard as steel,
or just waiting for it to end?
Who am I?
Do I really want to know?
I end with a sigh.
The voice is telling me to go.
from your mirror.. with loveStand at me
Glare at me
Your hair at me.
your eyes like
daggers and spears.
I'm not cruel
Letter To a StrangerYou do not recognize my name
Nor am I in knowledge of yours
Though we have never met before
I feel the need to speak with you
To tell you stories of my life
And you provide me with the same
But before we start a friendship
I wish to ask you a few things
Thus, your undivided focus
Is what I need from you right now
Can you pay fervant attention
To every word that passes my lips?
In years past, I have met people
Who love surface phenomena
And fail to dive deeper than that
Refuse to connect ideas
Will you hear the depths of my verse
And perceive me for who I am?
And many of these same people
Have done nothing to assist me
With any hardship I h
Nightmare, Nightmare!Nightmare, nightmare!
Lost and unaware.
Drowning in my despair.
Look me in the eyes;
tell me this is fair!
Shelter from these dark skies
is impossible to find.
If no one understands,
how can anyone care?
Tears fall as I stare
at my life,
a wasteland so bare.
someone hold me steady!
Help me escape this fate
before it's over;
before it's too late!
Sickness of the mind,
cruel and unkind.
no respite will I find...
Can't you hear the voices singing
of the death knell?
Lost, Little Boy“Lost, Little Boy”
There exists a dazzling forest with glistening
Water flowing down the hill with listening
Ears as if to appear sound and protected
But I know the truth of which none have detected
These waterfalls are a collection of tears
That fall from the eyes over the years
And never dry out but always throughout
Sprinkle the flowers that strengthen and sprout
But this thick air has become too vague to see
Or to breathe or drive through these wounded trees
In which the bark in the dark without a doubt
Grows in arcs and sparks curiosity without
Any idea where to fathom or begin
To search for the missing child buried with
Pain In The Eyes Of The BeholderThe best thing about a scar
Is that it shows the pain is over,
The wound is healed.
It shows that I've stopped drinking,
Now I'm sober.
It shows, that for now I'm happy with the people I love,
And have put away the knife.
That their happiness is placed first,
I won't take my life tonight.
Then why to everyone else a scar is a sin?
A sign of illness?
Of giving in?
That it makes me a freak?
That it makes me dissapointing?
That it makes me weak?
You say because of this, everything will get worse.
What have i got to lose.
You say this is poisoning me, to get rid of this curse
You don't even know the half of it.
If you know nothing, you are in
Lost SoulsFor some sorrow is not just an event
It is a place they spend their entire lives
Tears and loneliness their endless lament
In a darkness where their agony thrives
Walking their tormented path of pain
Their eyes are empty, their voices hushed
Continuing onward with nothing to gain
Souls too twisted and hopelessly crushed
Unreachable now because they are lost
Ghostly shells that creep along the night
For them this is what living has cost
Drained of hope there is no reason to fight
NeverW're always talking about the furture and the things we're going to do,
About doing crazy things and all the trouble we'll get into.
Of all the wierd things that'll happen to us,
Of all the memories that will never get left in the dust.
But it almost hurst to think that those times will never come
Almost, but all this has left me numb.
All the things I'll never have done,
And I'll never wake to see the sun.
All the loving people I'll never meet,
I'll never taste that love so sweet.
All the things I'll never have seen,
And I'll never get the chance to be me.
It was more than I could take,
But is this really an escape?
To me, it's not th
Broken LoveFractured fingers of splintered ice
Through the heart do swiftly slice
Like shards of sharp broken glass
Easily frozen if you do it fast
Tears are only but salty water
Leading you to bloody slaughter
So quickly now, before you bleed
Give up this stupid childish need
Love is nothing but a dream
It shall only make you scream
So give it up and toss it far away
There’s nothing but pain if you go that way
So run, hide quickly in sanity’s hills
For some love does not save, it only kills
What would a story be?
If there was no one there to read it.
What would dreams be?
If there was no one there to conceive it.
What would a picture be?
If there was no one there to see it.
What would a secret be?
If there was no one there to keep it.
What would love be?
If there was no one there to feel it.
What would a song be?
If there was no one there to sing it.
What would the truth be?
If there was no one there to admit it.
What would advice be?
If there was no one there to give it.
What would life be?
If there was no one there to live it.
I'm clean!I don't cut anymore!
Because I'm checked every night.
I don't even glance at sharp things!
Because my razor was taken away.
Because there's a lock on the liquor cabinet.
I don't even ask for a taste!
Because I'm not allowed in bars.
I'm off the medication!
Because it was hidden somewhere.
I don't even think about overdose!
Because I'm on antidepressants.
I don't bash my head into the wall!
Because there's a camera in my room.
The blood stains are faded!
Because a professional was hired to get the walls and floor clean.
I don't have suicidal thoughts anymore!
Because I'm on happypills.
I don't even try to kill myse
Fairi hold my head in my hands
and scream into the air
why does everything have to be so hard
nothing in my life is fair
i didn't ask for the cards i've been dealt
i didn't ask for this pain
if i had it my way
i would've hit that vein
i would erase the yesterdays
throw them into the lake of fire
because they haunt me incessantly
and force me to expire
it's impossible to ignore it
it has driven me insane
everyone thinks i should just get over it
but it sucks me in like a drain
noone can even fathom
what i go through everyday
how could they possibly
if all they know is what i say
i want to end it right here and now
NightmareMy life is a nightmare
one from which i cannot wake
so frightening, so surreal
one from which there is no break
chilling scenes, alarming scenarios
everywhere i turn i shiver
i try, in vain, to wake up
but something else makes me quiver
people from the past, present, future
part of me questions if they're real
but mostly i know they are
because every touch, every embrace, i feel
the present goes to the future
the future goes to the past
nothing stays in one place
it all happens so fast
scenes i wish not to remember
they happen right before my eyes
they're happening in the here and now
all i know of reality it defies
Woundsmy wounds are deep and gaping
they never seem to heal
all i want is to be whole again
to mend from this ordeal
so much anguish, so much torment
it just doesn't seem real
i could only wish for my demise
dying has such great appeal
the wounds, even though they're aged
are still crimson and sore
they're painful to the touch
just the same as before
i'm beginning to think
that nothing can restore
but they are true signs
of an all out war
Sinkingthis life is all i know
kinda scary thinking of what's beyond
how do i know where i'll go
god and i don't exactly correspond
death is so absolute
i very much fear the unknown
i can't even dispute
can't even begin to postpone
but the question on my mind
is the fear of the obscure,
worse than what i already find
i'm so lost and unsure
i know what i want
but fear is very strong
just the word is a daunt
but i've wanted it for so long
then there's my family and friends
how could i explain
just how my mind twists and bends
how could i explain why i want to die
they wouldn't understand
i don't want to see them cry
Tragedy to TriumphWith ice in her veins
And a heart as dark as a moonless night
Her soul bound by chains
Her mind wants to give up this eternal fight
She's lost and alone
In a world she doesn't belong
Suffering is all she's ever known
She's lost her will to be strong
She sees through the eyes of tragedy
And hears only what her mind wants to say
She feels nothing but apathy
Even in her dreams she's gone astray
This was me
But a year ago
I finally know
I've learned through trials and woe
That this life is for living
To embrace it and grow
Through letting go and forgiving
Everyday is a new start
I've got nothing to lose
If I listen to my hear
HelicaseHelio and I were always sitting on the stairs, chatting about the lamina and occasionally making snide remarks about ribosomes. There wasn't much for us to do. Our job was to simply be, and let the RNA scribble down the letters on our foreheads when they came around every once in a while. Helio was a G, I was a C. It wasn't exactly fulfilling, I suppose. There wasn't much to be filled. So to pass the time, we talked.
"You ever wonder?" Helio asked.
"About...well...what's out there." Helio and I were rooted to the stairs, quite happily, but it was awkward to move in. He kind of twisted in the general direction of the closest pore. "Out in the cytoplasm."
"I haven't," I admitted. "What's there to wonder about?"
"That's exactly the thing. I have no idea." Helio sighed, gazing into the distance. "Somehow it feels like we play this huge, huge role in something important, but how can we when we don't even know what that something is? I want to be something that, that has
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More